Friday, August 2, 2013

Do you think I'm wrong?

    My younger brother is getting married next year - actually they set the date already of July 4. So it will be a Friday wedding and it's on a holiday but I guess they're not planning on a red, white and blue theme.
    I helped him with his ring selection and his proposal. I was happy I could help him with that, even though he did the proposal in front of her family - haha. Seems like they have a holiday theme going because he actually proposed on Christmas. Maybe it's easier for them to remember "special" dates.
    Anyway, aside from being dragged to a bridal show with my mum and my soon to be SIL along with her mum and her sister I haven't been asked anything of helping out or assistance. (Yeah I said dragged because I didn't see the point of me going because I'm not paying for anything and I'm just the sister of the groom. I had to listen to her mum and sister make fun of her - not cool in my opinion. Let's not forget at that time I didn't know what my involvement was) I did find some old books from my wedding planning that I asked if they wanted and of course they took them with no questions. I did make a joke about what should be their wedding favors, which apparently her family thinks is great but we'll see.
    I know this post sounds like I am bitter about something but I don't think I am. I think I am more tired.

    I wont air out my grievances in this post but needless to say I guess I kind of miss my brother and I'm disappointed that he hasn't seen the new house yet (we've been here over a week now).
    I guess she is looking to having a large wedding party and to each their own. I had three girls; my Hubs sister, my cousin and my friend. That was well enough for me. I would have been happy even with just two which come to think of it - if I was to do this over again I would go with two or even one.  It's just silly to me the rational of why she's planning on having a large wedding party "because you can't have one cousin with out having the other" - umm guess what? Yes you can! Its your wedding, your choices. So insert again - to each their own.
    If you were to have asked me before Easter if I was part of the wedding party I could have confidently told you "no" since I was never asked. After Easter I could have told you "I guess so but I was never really asked". After eating my Mum asked her who was in the party and she said "Well.., you of course (as she points to me)" And my poker face was gone. I was shocked. I guess she just assumed that I would assume that I was part of the wedding party.
    While still in shock I kind of stumbled over my words and more or less left it as I would think about it while still supporting them as much as I could but nothing has come up since. I think my brother is suppose to ask my Hubs as well, and I'm not so sure if any of my kiddos are going to be part of the party. (I hate when people assume - HATE IT!)
    Listen, I have no problems with my future SIL and I am happy that my Brother is happy. The idea of romping around in matching dresses with other girls doesn't appeal to me. The idea of standing around for pictures also not appealing. The idea of planning a bridal shower with others, esp her sister doesn't appeal to me. The idea of a planning and attending a bachorlette party doesn't appeal to me. I was a bridesmaid once and that was well enough for me. I really don't want to spend money on a dress I will literally wear once and be stuck with to resell. I really don't want to spend time brainstorming when it seems her mum and sister have things already planned out.

    I will support them as much as I can. I can make a goodie basket as a giveaway for the shower. I can even do their engagement pictures if they wanted or save the date announcements. I can sit and assemble flowers or favors.
    Look - if my three kids are going to be involved I'm going to running around watching them. I wont have the time, energy or resources to make sure I'm dancing or taking pictures. And I'd prefer not to pawn them off on my parents to keep track of - it's more of their day with my brother and his bride than it is my day with him. (Btw I still don't know if my kids are being involved - haven't been asked. Maybe she'll just have her niece and nephew involved which is her choice and I'm ok with it)
    I haven't said anything since I haven't been asked or talked to about being bridesmaid but I'm not looking forward to it either. My mum thinks that it's my way of not supporting my brother but I see it differently. I think I'm being honest on what I can, can't, will and wont do.
    Do you think I'm wrong? Do you think I should just grin and bear it? Do you think honesty isn't the best policy in this case?

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