Monday, September 2, 2013

The 3:45am Conflict

    It was 3:45am when I looked at the clock this morning on my way to the bathroom. My body is so sore when I try to get up because of this rib pain that I am sure I will not be able to pin point on the chiro since it's still ongoing three months after the fact. After I got back into bed and settled down into a semi comfortable position the Hubs started to snore. (OY!)
    I use to be able to whip my body around a poke him (and when I say poke I really mean jab). I had to carefully move my body around so that I was barely able to wake him to tell him he was snoring. That's when it started. My mind was wide awake but my body wanted nothing more than slumber.
    I got mad at the chiro for breaking my rib. Then I got made at work for letting my department go which made me scurry to go to the chiro before my healthy insurance was up which made the chiro break my rib. If my health insurance wasn't in a threat to be up I would have never made it a point to get into the chiro causing this waterfall of pain.
    It didn't stop there..., my mind then went to this apparent social need to be in my only sibling's wedding party. My mum is asking me to reconsider. My aunt asked me if I was going to be in it and said I should even if it was going to end up costing our family a ton, under the impression the Hubs and the kids are included as well. I honestly and truly don't understand what the deal is. I feel I can support more and not have to be standing up there in the same dress as 7 other girls toting around some flowers with a prom hair-do. I was in one wedding party and I just did not enjoy myself or have the remote desire to be in another. (And PS - this whole being part of the wedding part bit is way different with the guys verses girls. They get off so easy!)
    My mind was just going through so many different things and all I really wanted to do was just sleep. I wanted SLEEP but that's hard to obtain when anger, confusion and wondering fills the brain.
    Eventually I ended up downstairs at the dining table just looking at stuff on the internet. Mindless stuff. The clock said 5:54am when I found myself in the living room making some nest with all the pillows on the couch. The next time I looked at the clock it was 7:21am and Big Bro was asking me to help him turn his shirt inside out.
    What do you do when your mind races in the wee hours of the morning?

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