Friday, December 6, 2013

Feelin' 85

    This morning I laid in bed thinking of everything I have to do today - it was a long list. I have to finish up the kids pajama pants, design and print out tickets for their super special Polar Express train ride this weekend, go through papers, finish up a few dollies, make some masks, treat Lulu to a movie for a fantastic first Parent/Teacher conference, organize Christmas gifts, cut out Grampa's gift, the list went on.
    I could hear the kids moving about and knew I had to get up and moving. Only one problem - I was completely and utterly sore from neck to toe! I was laying on my belly and stretched out. My ankles screamed out in pain, my right side muscle tightened up and the intersection of my neck and shoulders burned in angst. My eyes welled up in tears. I took some breaths and coached myself away from crying. Chanting "Be strong" I tried to turn over on my side to begin my descent from the bed.
    That phrase "I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy" went through my mind as I used all my might to push my upper body up. You know what??!! I DO wish this pain upon my worst enemy - once I find one.
    I can't remember when I last felt like I could skip through a field of daisies and toss in a few cartwheels in there. I can't remember when I last felt like I could just toss my body into bed and curl up in a ball under the covers without having to ease in and carefully maneuver my body into a semi-comfortable position.
    As I tried to stand up and felt my upper body push downward into place all I could chant in my head is "This is BS.., this is BS" - and the BS did not stand for "Be Strong".
   After the whole doctor debacle I went through a few weeks ago, I am thankful that it is not kidney stones but knowing it is rib cartilage damage stinks too. I almost wished it had been a broken bone. It can take up to a year for cartilage to heal.
    So I suppose I can look at the glass half full. I'm already 6 months down, what's another 6 to go? Yes, my sanity and yes my will power are already stretched thin. I miss being able to jam all the kids in my car and haul them to the zoo for an afternoon outing or off to the park all on my own. It frustrates me that it takes double time to do something and it totally frustrates me that since the big move I still have boxes upon boxes of stuff to go through.
    Shy of winning the lotto and hiring a maid, an organizer and an Au par - I have to continue to push myself and chant "BS.. BS"  (And that time BS means "Be Strong")

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